Sunday, October 25, 2009

paperback.

when his hands fumbled, i asked him if it was his first time. he said it was. somewhere in there i became the expert. after i watched each of the stripes on my flannel sheets peel off and squiggle along the hardwood floor, i thought about her decision. i was never one for waiting. i was never one for waiting for someone else to decide. somewhere in there i became the passive. i never would have thought. i watched the leaves on my curtains flutter in the wind, tear themselves from textiles and fall into piles against the woodwork. i type out these assignments with my mind on automatic, i try to eat a few meals everyday at the appropriate intervals but it's so hard to stomach anything these days. i watch the yellow light bulbs unscrew themselves and shatter in lemony glass shards, sending sparks through the clothes on my floor. somewhere in there i became that girl, laughing and twisting and shrugging it off. i never would have thought.

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